Marisa, Marissa, Merissa, or Marrissa?

I recently asked my parents how they came about the name Marisa.  Although I've heard the story before I want to hear it again.  My mom told me she wanted to name me Zoey.  Thinking about I don't think I would have been a good Zoey.  Everyone grows into their name and it seems to eventually fit them, Zoey would not have fit me.  So my mom was basically saying my dad came up with the name.  My dad said he had really like the actor Marisa Tomei at the time, and really liked the way that it was spelled.  The way it is spelled (with only one “s” compared to two) has definitely caused some frustration and awkwardness throughout the years. Most people just assume that I spell my name the “regular” and don’t even think to ask.  This definitely has gotten on my nerves over the years, but the worst is when people pronounce it wrong.  There are many different spellings, but only one way to pronounce it, MAH-RIS-AH.  I had a teacher one year that said it wrong the whole year, you may ask why I didn't correct her.  Well I did about the first three times and then I gave up hope. 

I recently looked up the, meaning of my name and the one that I like best was, “Of the sea.”  This doesn’t mean much to me, although I really do enjoy the beach.  This definition doesn’t define me, but do names in general define someone?  My name is not as common as most, I only know a few other Marisas and even then they don’t spell it the same way.  I would say it doesn’t define me, my personality does that.  However, when I meet someone with a name that I have a friend with the same name it does define them.  For example, when I meet people named Christopher or Chris (which is my brother’s name) I think of them differently.  It puts a taint on them, for better or for worse. 

There are definitely times in my life when I think of myself as being two different Marisas.  My full name is Marisa Ritter Florentino.  My middle name is my mother’s last name. She never changed it and also felt it was wrong to hyphenate our last names.  I like this because I am representing both of my parents, not just my dad.  There is the side of my name that everyone besides my family sees.  This side has no boundaries and is very independent.  When people meet me they don’t meet my family, so they don’t see where I have come from but where I am. I’m not trying to put my family down in anyway, sometimes it is important to be your own person and not have any expectations from anyone.  When I become a successful restaurant owner one day, I don’t want people to say, “Oh, her family is Italian that’s where she got it from and is why she is successful.”  I want them to realize all the hard work I have put into and say, “Wow, she earned her spot at the top.”

On the other hand, I am very proud of my family and will tell anyone all about them.  My dad’s side is one hundred percent Italian making our family vacations very loud and full of amazing food.  My mom’s side is a lot smaller and from the German (and a few other places) area, but surprisingly my love of baking came from my grandmother on this side.  Neither side of my family pulls me down, but as family is they expectations of me.  They want me to do things as the family would and while that’s not all band, once in a while I need to be own person, and, while keeping my family and their traditions in mind, I need to make my own path for myself.  This when the other side of Marisa Ritter Florentino emerges.